What amazes me is that they just keep on going, determined to make this nest, to lay those eggs and to fly off happily ever after. They mate for life you know (or so the internet tells me!), this makes my heart ache every time I see yet another twig pile on the previously fallen ones. I swear they could make a nest out of the ones they've dropped - if only they would look below! They could have teeny pigeon babies in no time! So frustrating!
I think this is how my close ones feel toward me and my fog of late - frustrated at the thought of me giving up so quickly. They can see the outcome, the potential magic but I just see the long road with no end. But each path has a turning or a pitstop and most definitely a destination. That destination is what I visually see but without focusing on it, living, breathing, dreaming about it, feeling like I already have it - I won't ever get there. I will be stuck at the traffic lights with no way of them going green.
These pigeons are determined, they'll make their nest. Maybe after a few failed attempts of this one they'll move onto a different spot where making their nest, hatching those eggs will be easier, more comfortable and will be 'just right' for them. Making the decision to change direction but stay on course is normal, sometimes important to achieve that end goal.
The metaphor that I first thought (of the pigeons trying and trying but constantly failing) was actually not the metaphor here - it is the fact that the pigeons try and try and keep trying with so much determination and THAT is inspiration right there. Who would have thought a couple of birds would inspire me so?!
Thank you so much for all the comments, messages, emails that you have all sent me. Your kind words changed everything. Truly. I am so grateful to have such sweet friends that check in and such beautiful online followers who care so much to reach out. Thank you.
Also - my littlest brother is the wisest person I know :
'You aren't a pigeon my dear sister you are an eagle - don't allow what you see in your reflection tamper your mind... water ripples causing your reflection to be tampered with. So don't allow two parts of a false cog, create a false machine. Spread those wings!'- a little tweet he sent me whilst I was experiencing a foggy moment. Thank you dearest Samuel. You oh so wise.