Thursday

2019 // A new chapter

I may have started this year with a scratchy sore throat, snotty nose and exchanged cross words but I'm not letting that rain on my parade. A brand new sparkly year to set new goals and important focal points to.
I never used to be one for resolutions but there is something about starting 2019 with some solid goals and motivation.
I may be sleep deprived, snotty and have a whiny toddler shaped shadow BUT I'm ready and willing to put myself into this wholeheartedly. And that's for living slowly and resting more as well as reaching my goals and heading towards my dreams.
A few things...
Be more present. Putting my phone down and minimising my phone use generally is something I'm passionate about doing and sticking to. I'm currently having an Instagram break and loving it!
I am going to schedule some regular one-on-one time with Olive because I fear she isn't getting the right sort of attention she deserves. She only 'plays up' to get our attention but in a negative way which leaves us all cross. And that just breaks me. So I plan to arrange monthly girly coffee dates for just the two of us, like we used to do. And some crafting sessions too. She always asks to do painting but Merlo seems to wake when we are mid mess and that causes stress for me (see above re negative attention!).
I also want to schedule some time for myself...

Self care. Like last year's goals, this is very important for me to keep up for my wellness and my self-improvement. I haven't been the best at looking after myself. However I have started to accept help a bit more and have decided to schedule an hour a day just for me. Perhaps in the evening for a bubble bath and a good book or creative time or simply sitting in silence, alone!
I plan to carry on practising EFT/Tapping to help me overcome the great sense of overwhelm that comes with being a mother (I recommend Sarah Tobin for sessions and guidance, here).
I really want to eat better too. I'm awful at this and I am currently surrounded by festive treats and chocolate coins. Balance is key, but once they're all gone I plan to eat even better!

Creativity. 2018 didn't go quite as planned when it comes to being creative. I rarely felt up to it when I was pregnant and then Merlo arrived I felt overwhelmed with Motherhood that I simply could not bring myself to do anything but sleep.
Anyway, Olive started playschool this month, two days a week (I'm an emotional wreck by the way!), so I plan to put some time into making things and resuming projects... when I'm not snuggling Merlo ofcourse.
I made a promise to Sebastian that I would draw every single day. One drawing a day at least. Even if it is a little doodle- it's one step closer to my dream.

Keep reading. After the success of last years goal and the magical escapism reading brings, I have planned to read another 12 books this year too. I have already completed one... it only took me 5 days to read it! Having not read for two months I clearly missed it!

Live a more Minimal, slow life. This goes hand in hand with 'Be more present', I want our family life to be simpler and easier and alot more slower. I'd like this year to be the year we finally say goodbye to the clutter and live with less (a tidy surrounding creates a tidy mind). Appreciate the items we have and spend time together, quality time. Getting outside and breathing in the fresh air, being grateful with our surroundings and just simply walking together. Using our brains and playing board games together, reading together and making things and baking together. Spending less money and being richer on life and inner happiness.
I also want to focus on purchasing clothing, gifts etc from ethical, sustainable brands and spending more money on quality items that will last instead of 'fast fashion' that won't.

That's my list of goals I would like to focus on this year. Along with surviving the tough days of Motherhood, finding inner peace for myself and for my family is my main focus right now and I'm hoping the other goals will slot in along the way.
Have you made any goals for this year? Do they help you organise your life a little bit like they do for me? I'm a huge list maker and there is nothing more successful than crossing off and ticking accomplishments.

Happy mid January to you all. I hope it has been full of cosy moments and heaps of relaxing after the busy Christmas rush.

Sunday

2018 - Reflection

I set myself some pretty achievable goals/focuses in 2018 and looking back through my posts (2018 - A mid year reflection and 2018 // A new chapter) I feel pretty good about last year. Okay so I didn't leave my office job BUT I did leave it temporarily to have a baby... so I guess I kind of achieved that one, along will successfully completing most of the other goals too.
Reading. I completed a total of 13 books out of the target of 12 I set myself. The last book I read was 'The Hypnobirthing Book' by Katherine Graves back in October. I seemed a little pre-occupied after that!!
I have really enjoyed reading, especially the easy-reads by Katie Fforde, Rosie Blake etc. I mostly enjoyed discovering Eva Rice (my best friend's favourite). I love that escapism that these type of books bring me. The last few months I have lost myself to 'just-about-awake-Netflix-viewing' whilst I breastfeed during the evening/nighttime, but I really miss reading. However we're noticing a bit of a routine with bebe so I'm hoping I can slot in some valuable reading time again.

Minimise phone use. 'Since the social media break I gave myself in January, this one has been an easy one to keep up...' Just like I mentioned in my mid year reflection post, here I have enjoyed less phone use. After an overwhelming Christmastime  I am definitely due another social media break. But turning all notifications off on my phone really has helped this year. I have barely checked my personal Facebook account and feel SO good about that. I haven't checked Twitter since last January!
Basically , the less platform options I have the better.
Giving myself a phone curfew worked wonders. At the moment however I rely on my phone for nighttime feeds - I've been catching up on Kirstie's Handmade Christmas. all the cheesy Netflix films and slowly going through My List on Netflix.

Creativity. Something that upsets me quite a bit is not giving myself time to do this. Isn't it funny how you find yourself saying "I don't have time" and each time you take something else on (having another child in my case) you see just how much time you DID have. I guess the lesson is - if you want something badly enough, you make the time. Sacrificing that Boxset & PJ party each evening or that early night (Maybe in moderation... because self care is important!).

Meal planning. Not quite to plan, however I did stock the freezer for Olive pre-bebe's arrival. That felt so very good, seeing those little cubed portions all stacked up ready for a quick and easy healthy meal. Nothing better. I do want to do this more, I need to research into alternatives to ziplock bags as we have nearly used (& re-used many times) up the packet that we were given early last year. Any suggestions?

More Ethical / Zero waste. Finishing up 2018 I can feel positive that I have done very well with being more concious this year. We all have our own stainless steel One Green Bottle each as well as using Cruelty Free daily (and beauty) product, along with cleaning products. We still have a few nearly-empty bottles of non CF/non-natural based cleaning products that we're using up before replacing.
We have avoided buying clingfilm, purchasing plastic bags and wasteful packaged items too. We still struggle to pick up fruit and veg sans packaging (mostly due to pennies or lack thereof) but we do try hard to avoid when we can.

Decluttering. This process was an overwhelming one. It still is. We successfully completed a huge decluttering in the Summer. With little Merlo's arrival looming we needed to move Olive up into our spare room/office/creative space and create a "big girl bedroom" for her, which meant ALOT of decluttering. We had to be brutal. I still however feel like I can do more. It's hard to think like "I haven't touched this for a while therefore it is no use to me" when I genuinely have had no time due to newborn cuddles. BUT I am determined to minimise alot in 2019.

Self care. I spent alot of time napping before bebe arrived, or at least until Olive decided to drop her nap when I went on Maternity Leave! However we enjoyed slow days, coffee dates and early nights with reading. And that was pure bliss.
I did get to enjoy an hour long relaxing bubble bath on the last Sunday of the year. With chocolate coins, a new book. A whole hour just for me.
I admit I could have taken better care of myself of late. Asking for help, eating better (much much better), having too many expectations and taking too much on. are all things I have failed at. However I realise this as I write and am definitely going to do much better! I have been practising EFT Tapping and have found it helps me alot so I plan to keep this up going forward.


All in all, a successful goal reaching year. There were happy moments, sad moments, sassy moments (Olive!!) and learning moments but we have a new member in our Team Turton-Wall and we are all besotted with him so I'd say it was a very magical year indeed.
I hope you had a brilliant 2018 and it was full of magic, goals and happy moments. Let's hope 2019 is even better!

Saturday

When...


When all you want to do is cry and hide between a cold pillow and a warm blanket until there are no longer any tears left.
When all you want is someone to hold you close and hug you so tight that it feels like they are crushing all the bad feelings and releasing the happy bubbles.
When all you want is to shut the curtains and shut out the world, whatever the weather is doing.
When all you want is to be five again and your mama and papa pushing your hair back and tucking it behind your ear and telling you that it is all going to be okay.
When all you want is to just stop time, rewind it straight back to the beginning and start all over again. Fresh faced, clean mind and an empty heart.

When all of this is just a thought and just a bad day, sit up, brush yourself down, take a few deep breaths and tell yourself that it's just one of those days and everything is going to be just fine. 
Because it is and it will be.