Monday

achy-breaky heart

alot has happened since i blogged last. 
firstly, i saw lots of my little family. nearly all of my nephew's and niece's, and it was so lovely. so very lovely indeed. we all went tobogganing for a birthday party. it was so much fun... until i caught that horrid sick bug thing that has been floating around. gosh, it was horrid.
i had to eat this delicious farm-made cherry and almond cake, way after the bug disappeared. my poor tummy refused everything, until it finally let me digest rich tea biscuits. my saviour. 
i know i was really ill, because i ached all over... and i couldn't drink TEA!
these were my views for three days, whilst feeling sorry for myself and trying to keep warm.
after painting my nails and sending out TTDER orders, and watching 'how i met your mother' back to back curled up on the sofa, and missing the first day of snow, i decided that i had enough energy to go back to work.
however, little did i know, the sickness had not disappeared from me just yet. my poorly tummy was full of cramps and aches and pains, resorting in me begging ma'ma to take me home. snuggled up on the sofa with the blanket and a hot water bottle, is where i stayed for the next few days.
after feeling a little better, i got up from my sorry state and tried to get back to normal.
and on the way to this, i found this little treasure. a very soft and cute little easter bunny. eventhough one arm is abnormally large and the other far too skinny, i fell in love. i wrapped him back up, and i decided. no way am i ready for a child, but in a good few years time, i will get him out again, and he will HAVE to belong to a mini tea drinking english rose. he is too cute to be wasted on a grown up. (eventhough i hate that word, that is what i am).
then the prince and i sat down that evening, ate some toffee popcorn, and watched the three musketeers. i loved. and i laughed. it was a pretty good feeling. not one i had felt for a good few days.
and then it only went and snowed lots and lay a billion inches. this changed my sadness and tummy pains and ickyness. oh my goodness, all winter i have waited for this, and now, nearly spring, it arrives. i loved this so much.
so naturally, i pulled on my floral (and slightly 'glastonbury' mudded) cath kidston wellies, wrapped up warm and went for a wander. oh perfection. i thought, 'this is what happiness feels like'! ever so chilly but perfectly snowy. my world was a sparkly sheet of white, and i loved every moment of it. oh and that perfect crunch beneath my feet. bliss.
the snow was deep, and i very much enjoyed spending time with the prince. i also loved stepping through the mounds of untouched snow. i pretended to be in narnia for a tiny second. how nice that would have been.
i painted my nails magnetic ice blue, to match the theme of my fingers and toes--- ice cold and blue. i am quite positive that my nose and cheeks were a pinky red too. so very cold... indoors and out. 
my (pretend) granma at work bought me a little present today. a little grey owl to cheer me up. he smells of chocolate orange and has lipbalm up his bottom. i love him. and he smells great. it really did cheer me up.
but, i am still feeling rather sad. i am not quite sure why. but i do know, my heart is aching so much. 
i feel so 'fed up' with everything. i am just not myself at the moment, and i cannot quite kick myself out of it. i know the fact i have not been feeling well lately has something to do with it. maybe i am just really exhausted.
my poorly tummy still hurts lots. i am going to pay the doctor a little visit tomorrow, hopefully he can tell me what is wrong with it.
as for my heart... i will just have to try my hardest to smile and believe it.

10 comments:

  1. Seriously, I actually LOVE you.
    This is possibly one of the sweetest posts I think I've ever read, honestly you just seem as cute as a button that I want to pick you up and put you in my pocket.
    I really do hope you feel better extremely soon, noone likes a sad little bunny.xxx

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  2. Sadness is such an overused and misunderstood concept in today's society but I can relate a lot to your description of it. Sometimes that's just how it can feel, as though despite all the happiness in your life that there is something missing underneath all of it that you can't put your finger on. Like an inexplicable sense of loss that pervades. Perhaps you should talk to your doctor about this when you see them for the sake of eliminating any underlying medical reason/chemical imbalance for this. I hope you don't mind me suggesting this. It's very brave of you to open up about something so personal on your blog. Hope you feel better soon

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  3. Aw bless ya. I know a few people who have had this sickness bug. Sounds horrible. I've been off work with the lurgy too. It's left me all achey and sleepy which is rubbish. Ben's gone away with work again so I'll be on my own for a month. I think we both have a serious case of the January/February blues :( on a positive note I'm glad you enjoyed the snow! Such a shame that it didn't stick around for long. Hope you feel better and happier soon. Virtual hugs for you xx

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  4. Your posts are always so amazing. I hope you get better soon. The snow looks so beautiful and that little owl, naww!

    www.kindoflovely.com

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  5. I missed the snow this year :( But this post has made up for it! It snowed lots! I didn't realise!

    {Satin&Souffles}

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  6. Sorry to hear that you've been sick and i really hope your poor tummy gets better soon.
    The way you write still says Charlotte even though you don't feel like yourself.
    I know naming how we feel gets harder sometimes, and even then we just can't figure out how one can feel so many opposite things at the same time. But i figured this happens because we have majestic hearts that we can't help but squize many emotions in it at once.
    The photos are beautiful as always oh and the crooked bunny is ever so adorable and so the reason why you want to keep him safe.
    It's still snowing here but it never gets that deep for some reason :( Oh well, at least the roofs are covered with white. They look so very charming when they're all white don't you think?
    Hope you feel so much brighter sooner than ever^^

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  8. I'm so sorry to hear you've been feeling so ill. It's ridiculously difficult to keep a cheerful attitude when your body is miserable... Hopefully both your mind and your body will be alright soon.

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  9. i love your writing and photos. makes my day, but i hate to have read that you were sick. my little guy just had the flu, then i got it, etc etc. not fun! luckily, i was home visiting and my parents could watch him whilst i was sick in my old bedroom upstairs. i hate the flu bug.

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