Friday

Number Eight.

This week has been a little tricky. I have tried my darn hardest to stay positive and bright faced and there has been some amazing highs and some difficult lows.
I had the most special day Wednesday with my darling best and she took me to a couple of beautiful wedding dress shops to have a wee dress up. It was a perfect day. I could not wait to tell my mother and sister the following day. They however were able to contain their excitement... by barely showing any enthusiasm what so ever.
I came home and burst into tears.
I come from a big family. I have FOUR sisters and FOUR brothers. I am number eight out of nine. Sometimes I really do feel like I am just a number. I am the quietest of the bunch and have always been the type to wait for my turn to speak (purely because I could never get a word in!) but never did it come. It still doesn't. I am nearly 27.
I thought my wedding would be super special, the youngest of the girls and for once I could be the centre of attention... but most of them do not even seem interested let alone excited. My Papa has probably been the only one who has spoken and asked questions about it. Brother's girlfriend's have asked too.
Right now all I want to do is run away with Sebastian and come back married. Or just move.
I know it must be hard to keep up to date with everyone especially with their own little families to focus on too... but sometimes it really shows that most of them don't even care. I either get roped into doing some kind of job at a kid's party or don't even get a 'hello how are you?'!
I know they love me, as do I love them... but sometimes I feel alone in this big ol gigantic family of mine.

Thank goodness for best friends and the Prince.
(image source i// ii// iii)

15 comments:

  1. Oh, sweetheart. *hugs*
    It must be so hard with such a large family. I'm the opposite, I'm an only child so I get ALL the attention and EVERYONE has an opinion about what I should be doing with my life, and I'm sure planning my wedding is going to be a disaster because I'm the only one in the family that they can fuss over.

    Try not to take it personally, and if it's really getting to you, you must speak to your mum about it. Perhaps she has no idea just how upset you are. Share these special moments with people that will be excited for you and don't let anyone ruin this time for you. I bet you looked gorgeous in those dresses. <3

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  2. It is so heartbreaking when people who are meant to care about you don't seem to be interested, for me it's sort of the opposite, my family is small and tend to take an interest but my friends barely ever seem to listen to me. I wait my turn to speak and half the time I'll end up being spoken over by someone else who clearly wasn't listening. I've even had someone ask me a question, only for them to completely tune out during my (short!) answer and start talking over me?! I listen to all their work stories, let them complain about stuff to me, I feel as though I shoulder such burdens sometimes with all the things people pile onto me, but when it's my turn no one seems to want to be around to listen. It really makes you think about who your friends really are. We still have fun but I do feel very invisible sometimes, but on the flip-side it makes me glad I do have people who will genuinely listen, people I've met online and people who seem to respect me and my opinions and want to hear what I have to say. It's a tough situation and I don't know if this comment is very encouraging at all, but I do know somewhat how it feels! x

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  3. It matters to know that you matter. And I'm sure you do, very much, to your family. Have a quiet word with your Mum about how you're feeling, I'm sure it'll make all the difference. And next time they seem uninterested in your bridal adventures (or anything you gave to say) ask 'why is this not important to you?' It'll give them pause for thought. Time to speak up and make yourself heard, you deserve it, because you matter.

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  4. I can sympathise with you totally Charlotte. It is so incredibly hard, I'm getting married in just under 3 months and while by best friend and mums family have been fantastic, since my dad has his 'new' family he barely seems interested. Ordinarily I am a door mat and just do as I'm asked or whatever will make everyone else happy but I've started standing up for myself. My younger brother will walk me down the aisle instead. It makes you feel so sad when people don't share in your excitement, but the thing to hold onto is the people that are excited. Have a word with your mum and try and get her involved. If she doesn't then get your girlfriends and papa involved in all your lovely plans. I am sure you looked utterly beautiful in the dresses and if your wedding is half as beautiful as this blog, it will be a truly magical day. ♡ frankie x

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  5. You know, if you want to run away and come back married, why don't you? I was so ecstatic when my partner proposed to me, and I thought we'd have a few years to save up and have the most perfect day. We told my parents and they were really excited, but when we told his family, they didn't really seem to happy about the idea but kept suggesting we get married within months. We did end up getting married quite soon, and although I love being married and who I am married to, I wish I'd done it in my own terms. That might be incredibly selfish, but if you can't have the biggest day of your life go the way you want it to, then how can it be your biggest day?

    I hope your family come round for you, maybe invite them to go dress shopping/viewing with you so they can experience it that way? xx

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  6. Awww my lovely that does suck. Thank goodness for your chosen family, your friends who can get excited with you and celebrate every details big or small. xx

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  7. Darling charlotte, I know exactly how you feel right now; I'm one of five but the only girl, I expected being showered with happiness but not a single member of my family batted an eyelid to the news, my dad even shook his head! Sometimes it feels like its the youngest children that get overlooked in a large family because parents tend to have a 'been there done that' attitude, however I'm the oldest and noone cares! just surround yourself with happy people who are also excited for you, often being that little bit selfish is the way forward, eventually they'll feel left out and join in your excitement! hope you're okay xxx

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  8. Oh sweetie. I am so sorry ;( Just try and think about how this is the start of your most wonderful adventure together. I know it is going to be tough and i wish i had more advice for you but i am so happy for you darling x

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  9. I just found your blog, and instantly loved it. This first post made me feel so sad, I'm sorry you don't get the attention and moments of feeling special, it must be quite tough being one of nine children. Just from the bit I've read now you seem wonderful, so I just wanted to send you a thought and wish you all the best for your wedding preparations and life as married:-)

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  10. We're all looking forward to hearing more about your wedding, so don't be sad! :D I do understand though, for my part I am the oldest, but my younger brother was a complete attention-seeker when he was growing up. Pretty difficult to get used to sharing your parent's attention!

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  11. Awwww muffin, this made me so sad. I hope the family starts getting excited as the date comes closer!

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  12. So sorry you felt sad. Do the wedding the way you want it. Make yourself and Sebastian happy.
    I only have one child and feel a meanie that she doesn't have brothers and sisters. It is interesting to hear your perspective. Perhaps they are interested but rubbish at showing it.
    Families can be very difficult and sometimes making your own family will heal the hurts. Hope you're alright. I'm a quiet one too and we get taken for granted sometimes.
    Hugs,
    Tracy xxx

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  14. That is so sad as it really is such a special time for you. I'm feeling sad for you just thinking about it. It must be quite tough being one of so many children but trust me sometimes being an only child can be equally harsh. When I was getting married I couldn't think of anything else and was surprised at times when my parents wanted to think of anything else but the wedding and at times where they wanted it to be completely as they had imagined. I just had to grit my teeth and get on and in the end I was so glad to have them involved and part of such an important time. I think you have to just stand firm and know that you are doing what is best for you. It's a very special time for you - don't let anyone spoil it. Make sure you spend lots of times with friends and loved ones who do care and are going to support you. Don't forget to enjoy it as well! xx

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  15. I just found your blog and came across this post and felt a pang of sadness. Not pity, don't worry - nobody wants or needs that - but more a feeling that I understand. Firstly, I can't believe you're one of 9. That blows my mind. Secondly, families aren't perfect and although the laws of probability say you probably should have better luck with all those siblings (!) I think you just have to take great comfort in the fact that you have a lovely fiance and a wonderful best friend who knows you inside and out. Some people have none of the above and while I understand that pointing out what others dont have isn't helpful, when I feel awful I do have to shake myself up and remind myself of all the blessings that I do have. However, I'm so sorry you don't feel as if you have your family's support. That feeling is awful and I would say try talking to one of two of them, but perhaps you already have. It's usually something as small and silly as they're too busy taken up with their own worlds (aren't we all?) but that doesn't make it hurt any less.
    Big hugs,
    Bella xxx
    howdoesitfeeltobe.com

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