As part of Motivational March I have to introduce you to my beautiful vegan best, Alix from Oui Je T'aime Aussi. She has a few wise words to share with you.
They say when you're a child, you have no concept of time & I am likely to agree. When I was little, it was all about living everyday as it came, because, quite frankly, a day seemed like a long time, let alone a week or even a year. If someone was to ask ten year old me, what I wanted to become when I grew up, I can't say that I'd have been able to answer. I honestly never thought about it at all.
That was until, I turned twelve & my dad came home with news that he had cancer, then suddenly, all I could think about was what I was going to be when I grew up. I made scrapbooks of my future home & wiled away my days, imagining my thirty year old self. I had come to the conclusion, that by the time you hit thirty, you have everything sorted, a house, a career, a husband. I couldn't wait.
When my dad died ten years later, it woke me up from my dreaming & forced me to look around. I was in a job I'd long lost interest in & had been continually forcing the idea of marriage, onto a guy who wasn't right for me. I knew things needed to change. I broke up with the guy, quit my job & went traveling. Sadly, it didn't take long for me to come back, morbidly depressed, disillusioned with life & still struggling to grieve. I crawled back into the comfort zone of my dream life, wrapping myself up in its safety.
When I woke up in Barcelona, on my twenty fifth birthday, I suddenly realised that, I'd been so engrossed in my dream world for the past few years, I'd kind of forgotten to actually do anything with my real life. I was still living with my mother, working part-time at another job I had no interest in & was, most pitifully still single. Five years, I thought, five years until I'm thirty. When exactly was it all going to start falling into place.
Another year of wasteful escapism went by & soon, I was facing my twenty sixth birthday, still having achieved nothing. However, before I could fall into a depressive coma about my continual coasting, my whole life unexpectedly changed. Mother went on a round-the-world cruise & came back with a boyfriend. A week later, she declared she was moving to Spain with him & selling the house, leaving me essentially homeless. I was beside myself. Even more so when she said she didn't want to keep any of the contents, including my prized Smeg fridge.
Cue heated arguments & more tears than is healthy. Finally, calming down, I came to the conclusion, that this was one of those crossroads moments, where you can either completely fall apart (the direction I was heading in), or make the best of a crumby situation. In the end, rather uncharacteristically, I chose the latter. I quit my job & spent two months selling everything I owned, right down to the contents of my wardrobe & combining the money with my savings, I packed a bag & once again went traveling, in search of some purpose.
It's been nearly ten months since then & I am still without a home, still very much unemployed & have about three boxes of possessions to my name. Strangely though, I couldn't be happier. I'm not saying that the road has been a smooth one, I'd be lying if I did. There have been plenty of 'oh shit' moments, wondering how the hell I ended up here, but, I've met so many amazing people, learnt more about life & about myself than I could ever have imagined & whilst my dreams have not yet been entirely fulfilled, I am at least working, tirelessly, everyday, to make them happen.
I think, in the end, we can either take comfort in our dreams & leave them as just hopeful ideas, or we can make the choice, to take a chance & push ourselves, to try to make them a reality. There's no guarantee that we'll succeed & we may very well end up back at square one again, but I for one, don't want to waste another day, let alone a year, simply dreaming. As they say, life is too short to be anything but happy.