When things get tough and heavy, the easiest thing is to let it sit on our shoulders, eat all the chocolate and take to bed with a crappy film on Netflix. Through the fog and fuzzy we must try our darn hardest to wash away those negative feelings and replace them with happy thoughts, soft music and fresh air. I find a jar of fresh spring like blooms help. That and hot cups of tea and little lady Olive cuddles.
When you feel the blues I know full well how hard it is to pull yourself out of it. But speaking from experience it never helps to sob into pillowcases, re-reading all the harsh words you stumbled upon, thinking about all the empty conversations you had, and generally feeling all the negative. Don't get me wrong, I always find a good cry alone helps. Especially when you don't feel like your thoughts and 'silly' tears are worth bothering anyone with (aka silly girl stuff - aka stuff you never thought as a grown up/a mother you would be crying over!). Because truthfully, deep down you know that you're getting upset over something SO not worth it. And to talk about it out loud (especially now as I think about it, whilst I write) just seems all very silly (it's not by the way!).
I guess what I am trying to say is that no matter how horrible people can be and how crap you feel about things - Being kind and being strong is the best thing you can be. Not only being kind to yourself (because we really are SO important!) but also being kind to the unkind. They have bigger issues than you do.
I have struggled lately with all sorts of things and when I have been feeling down about them they spiral out of control into something a lot more complicated and a lot more grey - because I'm focusing on the bad stuff. I have since pulled myself out (with a little help from my friends - Thank you! As well as a little 'Cinderella' watching with Olive) and I can now see clearer. I am focused, I am ready and I now have a better understanding.
I am grateful. I am grateful to the unkind and I am grateful to finally be able to have strength to let go.
I have been away from my computer, my blog, my creative projects, and all of the things that kept me inspired but I am going to keep this feeling going and carry on until I succeed full time happiness. I am ready now.
I really am ready.