2017 // A reflection

As ever my little blog has taken the fall where priorities are concerned. It feels like I rarely have any time for myself anymore. Or at least productive time anyway.
There are so many posts I had wanted to write last year and didn't get around to it. So for my sake I will still post them. Some retrospective posts (Olive's 1st Birthday, my 30th Birthday) as well as some catch up posts (festivities and crafts). I remind myself often that this little place is predominately for me to go back on, for reference, for memories, so it is really important I keep up with this and it doesn't matter if no one views them when I post retrospectively. But it's there if anyone does want to.

Let's get on shall we.

So I started 2018 with a slump. With Olive's birthday 3 days before Christmas, along with the big day it was terribly chaotic. At first it was a bubble of excitement. Presents, cake, family, more presents and just generally ALL the attention was magical to watch and be a part of as parents. But then the present opening didn't stop until days after Christmas and the social aspect of the whole thing got to be quite draining toward the end. Of course, it was all spectacularly magical still, just keeping up appearances and cheer was rather exhausting. I'm very much a 'I need a short break of silence and sleep' when I have been socially active for even a whole day. So imagine how I felt after a week and a half of plans (Don't even get me mentioning that Olive was potty trained and this Mama was a tired, TIRED ol' lady). We all ended up having an early night, asleep before 11pm, on New Years Eve, Olive and I both full of cold and exhaustion.

Therefore I vow that this year will be a quiet one for sure. I spent the month of December having slow days of Christmas crafts and films, dancing around the living room with Olive to festive music. We spent time baking and making gifts. Wrapping and nibbling mince pies. It was blissful. So more of that through the holidays too from now on. Pyjama days, family time, good food and board games. That is all. No more fast paced festivities.
Having such a chaotic festive period I had felt rather muddled with it being a new year and not quite feeling all "Yay, a fresh new year. Time to reflect" or "These are my goals for 2018" like everyone else appeared to be on my Instagram feed. I just felt like hibernating until I felt rested, until I felt better - mentally and physically! Finally by the evening of day 3 it all kicked in. I wrote lists upon lists of things I wanted to achieve, blog posts I wanted to write, things I wanted to try, things I wanted to focus on. All in a brand new notebook. I felt organised, present, focused. For the first time since mid December.
During my 'not feeling the new year' vibe, I thought about how much I felt I hadn't achieved over the last 12 months but then I found my 2017 Goals and felt relieved. Okay I hadn't achieved them all but a good half of them I had.

What I had achieved was the mentality aspect of it all. I succeeded in being happy with less and learning to live slower and being more present. I learnt to rest and make decisions based on what was right for ME and not for others.
I also made the decision to let feelings go. Some majorly suppressed feelings that were eating away at my emotions and taking up valuable head space for a couple of years now. I finally achieved peace with it all and it was so good to let go of the toxicity of the whole situation. It had taken up enough of my time dwelling on things. Which goes hand in hand with 'to invest my time and friendships with those who want to be there'. I did exactly that. But with that I learnt to go at my own pace. Life with a family IS busy, time consuming and very important to me. It's hard to find the balance to spend time with myself, with just my husband, go to work as well as spend time with friends. I learnt that it's okay to be 'busy' and to not fit it all in and the friends that wanted to spend time with me patiently waited for me. It is so important to know that they love me enough to do that for me and to understand that I wasn't as available as they were.
I also fought a hard battle of FOMO. Isn't it the crappiest thing seeing your friends live the life you once had and missed, which had now been turned upside down by a tiny human. I cried alot. My closest friends felt further away than ever before but I gave myself a good talking to. I told myself that THIS is the life I want. Not that one I was missing out on. I DID that already. That was chapter 2008. And I have come so far since then. I am where I am supposed to be. I have a handful of good friends and I don't need to see them every day, every week, every month. But when I do it'll be special. I am not missing out, not one bit. I am so rich in gratitude and love.
The things I hadn't achieved are still VERY much on my 'Goals' list. However I am trying a new direction of thinking. I am going to focus on the process of achieving them. This is in regards to 'the year I leave my office job and finally work for myself'. I am going to focus on finishing one project, instead of five at once. This one project will hopefully open up doors for me and in turn will eventually (hopefully sooner rather than later) lead me to quitting my office job.
Besides Sebastian managed to tick that one off his Goals list so we're already half way there!!

I realise this seems like more of a ranty post but it's good to get it out of my head to free up some space for positive thoughts.
I have a feeling about this year (like I probably do every single year around this time!), like a real empowering feeling, like something big is going to happen. Something so spectacular that I'll be writing my 2018 reflections post and looking back at this one laughing. I sure do hope the dream comes true. I hope the dream comes true for you all. I think we deserve some magic.


  1. Ahh Charlotte I couldn't agree more. I have this great ball of nervous excitement for the year. I know there are new things to come, especially as I'm pushing for them, but that also comes with so much change this year and that's scary as well. Sometimes I look at my friends, all whizzing off on holiday and out partying, and I am jealous. Jealous because there are now bigger things to spend money on and cutting back on the more obvious fun stuff means missing out now but having more long term. I hope you manage to achieve everything you want to this year, and I'm very much looking forward to following yours and Olive's adventures every day, it's my favourite insta story to watch and always puts a smile on my face! Alice xxx

  2. I don't think this is ranty at all. I think a relaxed 2018 sounds perfect - I know how much you do with Olive so completely understand why you can't blog as much. I will always enjoy reading though!


*Forever Love*